“The Sauce-a You Can Have, But the Secret? She’s A Mine…”

Nearly every morning when I drag myself onto the treadmill to get in my cardio for the day I only have one thing motivating me: Saved By The Bell.  I could honestly watch that show for hours on end.  I love it.  I’ve also come to the realization that while on the outside Saved By The Bell seems to be a silly show for teens it really teaches you some life lessons.

I present to you…

Life Lessons I’ve Learned

From

Saved By the Bell…

1.  If you “Put your mind to it, go for it, get down and break a sweat…” you can achieve any dream imaginable!  Even starting an all girl group called The Hot Sundaes…”GET DOWN AND GO FOR IT!”

Just don’t get “Sooo excited…I’m sooo excited…I’m. so. Scarrrrrrredddddd…”

2. When making deals, say for example on class rings, if it sounds too good to be true it probably is.  Luckily, if you have a buff friend named AC Slater, you can scam that scuz Gem Diamond and get the quality merchandise you wanted in the first place. 

(Whoa ladies, look at those muscles!!)

3. If at first you don’t succeed, wait a week and you may become an expert in it.  Say one week you’re in a beauty pageant and you try to sing “Blue Moon” and it’s off tune and off-key.  Just wait a week or two and you could be one of the lead singers in Zack Attack! (“Friends forever…always will be friends…”)

4. Be original—never try to pass off something to be yours when it clearly isn’t.  Don’t ever, EVER try to pass off a “Betsy” Crocker recipe as your own–Screech, I’m talking to you!

5. Never let a girl/guy come between you and your friends.  Give it a week or two, and they’ll be long forgotten.  Zack and Screech, Zack and Slater, All the girls and Mr. Tony Crane…I think they were always letting someone come between them luckily Mr. Belding was always there to mend fences. 

6. And finally, never, EVER, bet the family dog in a game of poker.

How could you let Zack do that Screech?? And with Maxwell no less??

While you and I both know there’s multiple lessons learned in every episode, these are all that come to mind at the moment.  If you have any you would like to add or just want to tell me how awesome I am, feel free to leave a comment.

Boy, Are My Cheeks Red…

The Lord blessed me with another moment in my life that I would love to just forget.

So that is why I’m sharing it with the world. 

I must be insane.

Tuesday afternoon at work I had to head on down to the little girl’s room.  After that I was walking down the hall to return to my office.  At this point I will tell you two things: a.) I work at a university so I’m walking down a hall with classrooms and b.) I was wearing a skirt and tights.

Do I even need to go any further with this story?

You’ve probably guessed it but if you haven’t here it is: my skirt was tucked into my tights.  I always, I mean ALWAYS, check my backside after a trip to the bathroom.  Somehow this little smidgen of my skirt decided to stay tucked in exposing my upper thigh to anyone walking behind me.  As luck would have it only one person was behind me…as MY luck would have it is was a student that works for us in the office.  And this student happens to be a shy guy.  I feel really bad if my tighted, upper thigh is his first glimpse into the female form.  *Shudder*

I mean, how do you recover from something so horrific like that?

I just pulled the skirt out and kept on walking.  And I’ve avoided eye contact with that particular student worker ever since.

Thankfully for all of us there are no pictures of this particular event. 

Anyone have an skirt tucking story that tops this one?  Let me hear it to make my mind feel at ease!

Ok, moving on to two ladies who don’t mind exposing their hindside’s to anyone and everyone!

Favorites…

I’ve decided to spice things up around here and do a weekly post on some of my favorite things.  Some weeks may have a theme but like most of my writing most will be written haphazardly.

This week actually has a theme and it is (drumroll please) DOGS!

I bought this bed for the dogs for Christmas.  I know they have no clue that it’s actually Christmas but I felt they needed to join in the festivities with us!

Ok, Sadie if you could remove your nose from the camera I’d appreciate it.

There.  Much better.  This bed is amazing.  If your dog enjoys propping his or her head on pillows, then this is the bed for you. If your dog enjoys curling up in a ball, then this is the bed for you. The only down side is the center part is a light, cream color so having a dark brown and black dog causes a bit of a problem.  Unless you like that dirt, dog hair everywhere look.  Then it’s perfect for you.

You can buy this bed here . It could possibly change your life. 

Next we have The Mod Dog collars.  All of you may have heard of these already but I just discovered them late last year.  They are beautiful custom designed dog collars.  I ordered a couple for my pooches and they’ve never looked more stylish. 

Sadie is sporting the “Squirrels Just Wanna Have Fun” collar.  Why?  Because she loves to chase and eat squirrels.  It’s that simple.  Plus (and most importantly) the colors meshed well with her fur color.

(Seen from a distance)

(Seen from as close as she would let me get without running away)

This particular collar is found here.

Lexi received the “K9 Inked” collar.  Why? Because she’s a grade-A bad mamma jamma!  If she were a person I’m pretty sure she’d have full sleeves of tattoos covering her arms! 

Sadly, that is the clearest shot of it I could get.  She’s a wiggler!

You can see it in all it’s glory here.  Obviously the one I’ve linked to is the small version and the only small thing on Lexi is her ears. 

The maker of these collars is extremely easy to work with and she will create custom orders for you if you need to. 

The homepage of her Etsy shop can be found here.

I may have saved the best for last.  Although I do not currently own this product I am saving my hard earned pennies and depriving myself of new shoes and food so I can purchase one (or two).

Pet Portraits by Aimée (pronounced A-May)  Hoover.

Wow is all I have to say.  She captures the soul of a dog in every painting she does.  She’s also been featured on The Bonnie Hunt Show just this past month!

Her paintings are phenomenal and someday (SOMEDAY!) I will have one of her portraits in my house!

She also does a giveaway almost every month on Twitter where she’ll give away a portrait of your dog that she paints in 140 minutes. 

Her website is here. And you can follow her on Twitter here.

She’s extremely talented, witty, and she has a killer pair of boots that I want. 

That wraps up this weeks favorites! If you have any favorites (dog related or not!) leave a comment and maybe it will become one of my favorite things!

She Will Protect This House…

Lexi.  My sweet little, darling Lexi. 

Look at how sweet and innocent she is. 

She could not possibly have one mean bone in her body, could she?

If you decide to come anywhere near HER property you better watch out.  She turns into a lean, mean, fighting machine.  (And I’m being VERY generous with the word lean.)

Uh-oh.  Someone’s been spotted trespassing. 

Get ‘em Lexi, GET ‘EM!  Save us from this horrible intruder!

Look at that extension.  The speed.  The ferocity. 

Let’s check in and see what Sadie thinks of these intruders.

She seems unphased, unaltered in her resolve…to break the log into as many pieces as possible.  People, it’s a good, natural alternative to bones-LOGS! 

Lexi’s got her sister’s back though.  She’ll protect her against any force that threatens their sanctuary. 

Even a force as mighty and terrifying as…

 

THE BIRDS!!! 

Wait, birds?  That’s it? 

You know those Robin Redbreasts are pretty frightening this time of year. 

And I think you and I both know the minute an actual intruder breaks in there will be no reaction from the canine species of the household.

Busted…

When this dog is no where in sight…

And it’s super quiet…

And we call her name…

And she nonchalantly walks back into the room…

This is the result.

(If you can’t tell she has Kleenex stuck on her paw.)

BUSTED!!!

She loves to get into our trashcan and rip apart the Kleenex and everything else that’s in it.  I honestly think she just like watching us clean it up.  Anyone else have this problem?

Clone…

I kind of wish today that I could surprise everyone with the news that I’m pregnant just to make the last post a little more ironic.  But (knock on wood) I’m not at this point!

Friday night my husband and I went to dinner at my parent’s house.  For some reason my parents feel they have to bribe us to come over to help with something.  My dad needed help in learning his new GPS golf unit thingy.  I do believe GPS golf unit thingy is the correct and technical term.  I could be wrong though.  The bribe of a fancy meal of pizza and breadsticks lured us over there.  We stayed for a couple of hours and talked about many things that I can’t even discuss here because of how politically incorrect they are. 

I think the best way to describe my dad is politically incorrect.  And I love him for it.  He’s not one to hide his emotion or his opinion on any topic ranging from Tiger Woods love life to MY love life.  Nothing is off-limits with him.  It takes a lot to shock him.  My husband usually leaves a lunch or dinner with my family shell-shocked with some of the topics of conversation. For some reason it is my dad’s goal in life to embarrass as many people in his path as he can.

As the door closed that night and we left I looked at Brian and said, “I bet you ANYTHING he just said ‘Gah, I thought they’d never leave.’” As we got in the car I gave them a quick buzz.  My mom answered and I said, “So, let me guess…he said ‘gah I thought they’d never leave.’”  She just started laughing and handed my father the phone. ”How did you know I’d say that?” “I just know you, dad.” He was astounded that I actually knew him that well. 

I know him that well because I am him.  I have his eyes, his stubby fingers/toes, his road rage, his lack of patience, his humor, an ounce of his wit  And I couldn’t be more thankful that I am like him.  Although I could do without the body hair and the stubbiness.

Another thing we have in common: we both LOVE these girls to death!

I love this picture of Sadie.  It looks like she’s getting ready to take off!

Tick-Tock…

Something’s missing.

I think God forgot to give me a biological clock. I have not heard one tick of the clock letting me know I want kids.  In fact, I think the clock is being wound in reverse.  The more time passes, the more I do NOT want kids.

People, I’m almost thirty and I don’t know how to change a diaper.  CLUELESS. 

At church I help my mom out in the nursery and when faced with a baby who needs a diaper change I’m suddenly thrown back to childhood, “MOMMMM, I need help.” The baby is passed off to her and she changes the diaper. 

Given the choice between looking at a book full of cute babies or cute puppies, I choose puppies.  Hands down. 

I get the creeps when a baby has wet hands from it’s own slobber and it gets on me.  I get grossed out when a baby smells like rotten formula or milk.  (No offense to anyone if I’ve held your baby. Or will be holding your baby.)

Everyone always says, “Oh it will be different when it’s your own.” No it won’t be.

Babies are gross. Babies are extremely high maintenance. Babies act like babies! Obviously I’m exaggerating a little bit.  But I’m just too selfish right now to even consider a baby. I love holding babies, for maybe thirty minutes. 

And no offense to anyone who’s ever had a baby or even has the audacity to like them.  That includes you mom.

I’m sure this phase will pass and someday when I’m at home with four babies and no dogs I’ll look back at this post and laugh. 

But, I doubt it. 

Besides, why would I want babies when I already have these two?

If You Don’t Like Pictures of Dogs Chewing on Things, This Post is Not For You…

There’s a few reasons why my husband and I don’t invest large portions of money into toys for the dogs. 

I’ll apologize ahead of time–90% of the pictures have blurry elements to them.  It’s the new style in photography!

It starts out innocently enough…

“Ohh so cute”

“Look at her get that hedgehog!

“Yes, I do believe that is the fabric tearing after playing with it for five minutes.”

We’re convinced that Lexi up there either doesn’t know how to play or has A.D.D. and just doesn’t have time for such trivial things.

And this one, Sadie, this is the look she gave me when I took the squeaker away from her.  She stares daggers straight through a person.

See how confused she is? 

Playing with scraps at this point. 

The Aftermath.

Decapitation is never an easy way to go.  And he looks TICKED about it! (Pretty shot of my nubby fingers!)

And don’t even get me started with the candy-cane bone in the picture below…

What dog completely ignores a rawhide bone?  Spoiled brat dogs do, that’s who.

My Thoughts On Obama’s New Health Care System…

Ok, not really. 

I just wanted you all to think I had some sort of resolve to get involved in political debates. 

I don’t.

Instead I want to talk about my stomach.  My stomach has let me down so much in the past year it’s ridiculous. Back in high school I was called ”Old Ironsides” and “The Trashcan” (these nicknames I gave to myself and I was the only one who referred to myself with these names) because I could virtually eat anything in any amount and it would not affect me.

Case in point: Sometime in my early years of high school I had an eating contest with a guy friend of mine.  We each ordered a large pizza and whoever finished first won.  He won, but I still ate the whole pizza.  I was hungry an hour later.  I found out a few years later that he threw up all night. 

Fast forward to New Year’s Eve.  I ate maybe 3 or 4 pieces of pizza, a couple of breadsticks and a few cream puffs (which I might at that my husband was FLABBERGASTED that I had eaten more than one–he must forgotten who he was married to for a second).  About four a.m. I get up with stomach pains.  I knew it wasn’t going to end well and I was right. 

Old Ironsides has gone down.

It was a good run those few years I could eat whatever I want.  I guess now I’ll have to be a grown-up and eat grown-up food in grown-up portions. 

Speaking of portion control-one of my pups is on a diet and one is not.  Can you guess which one?

I’ll give you a hint: It’s the fat, black one who has udders.  And who also eats her bowl of food AND her sister’s bowl if we’re not watching.  We love her at any size but we’re doing it for her own good! 

This is going to be a fun year!

Pulling Teeth…

All I want is a simple picture of the dogs in front of a Christmas tree. 

Can you tell which one was taking this a little more seriously?  Maybe the one that their head is not moving in every single frame. 

This is serious business when a treat’s involved.  

I’m also noticing how sad it is that my attempt at a Christmas shot with the dogs is a tiny tree way in the background.