Uh-Oh…

Anytime, and I mean A-N-Y-T-I-M-E, my husband is out of the house or out of town for any reason I am always thinking what I’m going to eat. 

Why I feel like I have to wait until he’s gone to eat anything, good or bad, is beyond me.  He’s never judged me for what I’ve eaten or stopped me from eating anything. I guess I feel that if no one is around to see me eat it, maybe it didn’t happen.  Kind of the whole tree falling in a forest situation.

Every time I get to eat whatever I want I always think of one thing.

It’s so trashy of me.

I can’t believe I’m admitting this.

Why do I crave Spaghettios out of anything and everything I could eat?  Why? Why? WHY? And it has to have the meatballs.  Which is even sicker!  But I love them. Maybe it’s a call back to my childhood when this is all my mom gave us to eat.  She would throw a can at us and give us a can opener and a spoon.  And we would just eat it out of the can.  (Ok, that didn’t really happen. She was a MUCH better mom than that.  She at least opened the can for us.)

They’re delicious to me.  So trashfully delicious.  And, according to the can, they’re a good source of protein.  So there. 

Am I the only one that craves trashy food? I can’t be alone.  I’m not, am I?

And I don’t think I’m pregnant…

These two do judge me and I take it personal until they start eating things out of the garbage.   

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A Loss in Perspective…

For some reason, when I have my contacts out and cannot see a thing all of my senses run amuck.  I don’t seem to hear as well, forget my sense of smell, and food does not have the same taste.  I was always under the impression if you lost one of your senses the rest of your senses would be heightened.  I frightened to know what would happen if I was blind or deaf. 

Last night, I was blabbing on about something and I said the words picture frame. For some reason the word frame made the brown dog hop up and look at me like it was a familiar word to her.  She knows a lot of words, I mean I don’t want to brag, but she is probably the smartest dog on the planet. 

I kept thinking, what word that sounds like frame does she know? Frappuccino? Frank? Frere Jacques?

I asked the hubinator and he said, “Maybe it’s F-L-O…”

And this is where my super senses take over and I suddenly am blind and deaf. 

I said, “Flower? Why would she know the word flower?”

He just looked at me like I’m an idiot (I’m assuming since I couldn’t see anything two inches in front of me) and said, “NO-I said F-L-O-Y-D. Floyd! Where did you get flower?”

While he’s busy making fun of me I’m just wondering how Floyd sounds anything remotely like frame.  Yes, they both start with “f” but that’s about where the similar sounds end.

I don’t think I heard the end of it until we both fell asleep.  I’m sooo sorry Mr. Perfect that I turn into a catatonic person when my contacts are out. 

And no, I never found a word that was even close to the word frame that she could have mistaken it for.  That’s the biggest mystery in all of this I suppose.  Either that or how my perfect husband puts up with someone so imperfect.

Speaking of perfection…

 

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Mover and a Shaker…

The big news around our house in the past couple weeks is that we have officially decided to move. 

[I think the heaven’s just opened up and angels are now singing.]

I could not be more excited. 

My neighborhood is, how shall I say this, a little on the trashy side.  Kids running around partially clothed with no parental supervision.  Trash bins constantly left out at the curb days after the trashmen came.  And I’m not sure, but our neighbor may be on something.  That’s just a theory though.

Needless to say I am READY to move. I’ve been ready for about a year or so.  Finally my husband has had enough!  I think the story about a neighbor a few houses down having to kill a fighting pit bull that was dropped off in our neighborhood because it was trying to attack children was the final straw.  Wow, that was a long sentence. 

I’m REALLY excited because looking for houses may be one of my most favorite activities EVER.  I am excited on so many levels. 

Living in a decent neighborhood with decent children and just decency all around may actually change my mind about having children.  I refuse to raise children in our current neighborhood.

OR living in a nicer/bigger place may help me convince my husband we can get a third dog.  But that’s probably just wishful thinking…

All I have to say is, Pups-get ready for a new life.  No more neighbor kids hanging over the fence harassing you.

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Where I’ve Been…

Ok, ok, ok.  I’m not really pregnant.  Obviously. I look too happy to really be pregnant. Also, I hope a couple other parts grow a bit bigger when I have a baby in my belly.  Just to balance things out.  If you know what I mean, and I think ya’ do.  After looking at this picture, I wish the good Lord would have put some of my jaw into my upper lip.  Everytime I smile my upper lip completely disappears! 

ANYWHO…

I’ve really been away enjoying life.  Not spending my nights staring at a computer until bed time.  The last few weeks (or maybe months) (or maybe the last YEAR!) I’ve been feeling a little blue.  Nothing serious, just not happy.  Among other things, I became a little obsessed with caring how many people read my blog, how many people followed me on Twitter, going to the same websites over and over and over expecting some sort new material, etc., etc…Not healthy at all!  And if you know me at all in real life, you know I’ve got a bit of an obsessive personality. Well, ever since deciding to leave my computer off and ENJOY life again I’ve felt wonderful.  Best decision ever!

It helps having a husband who is understanding and patient and puts up with me and loves me more than I deserve.  And also buys me beautiful yellow roses!

Aren’t they lovely?  Before you ask, yes, I do display all flower arrangements on the floor next to the back door.  I think it adds a bit of zen to the household. Ok, maybe not.  Unfortunately, that’s where the best lighting is, so that’s where they pose! I will say, out of all the floor shots that have ever been on the blog, this may be the cleanest my floor has ever been.

I’m ready to bounce back and start blogging again!  And I’m not going to be mopey and downtrodden. Or deep and introspective.  I’m going to be just as mindless and idiotic as I always have been! 

And here’s a little how do ya’ do from the ladies:

Enjoy your day everyone!

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I Was a Naïve Girl…

I am so sorry to the tens of  you that read this that I’ve been absent.  A trip to Nebraska and banning myself from the computer at nights has really put a damper on my blogging.  Oh, and I’ve actually been too busy at work–the nerve! 

I will present to you this gem though:

This was a list of my dream husband in (I would love to say 6th grade due to the *NSYNC references) high school at some point.  My teacher mailed them back to us a few months ago and I had to laugh at several things.

1. Number 5-Likes to argue once in a while.  Who would wish that in their future mate?  I mean really. 

2. Number 6-Enjoys dancing.  I read that one and thought, “Who WAS I in high school?” The thought of going out dancing with ANYONE sounds like a nightmare come true. 

3. Number 8-Older (not much) Well, considering I married someone younger than me, that was off. Although I will admit I am normally attracted to geriatric men.  I’m sure I have some daddy issues…NEXT!

4. Number 12-Good Jaw-line. I’m glad I had my priorities in order.  Although my husband does have a killer jaw-line.

5.  Number 16-Loves to eat.  Ya’ll, it took me years to get my husband to eat desserts.  In fact he used to skip meals because he just forgot about them.  Who does that?  REALLY?! I mean if I accidentally skip lunch, I’ll eat lunch and dinner back-to-back. 

6. Number 19 & 20-love music (especially boy bands) and JC Chasez! Oh. My. Gosh. I was such a dork.  And the fact that I actually turned this in to a teacher!  So awkward.  I’m sure you all have figured out I did not marry JC.  My heart is crushed. 

It’s amazing how much I compromised on who I married. (Kidding honey!) When I re-read that I thought a stranger had written that list.  It sounds nothing like me.  And the fact that I have nothing about loving dogs on there?  I must be crazy!

Do you ever go back and read old things you have written and wonder What was I thinking?

(Photo courtesy of Eric & Lauren)

Luckily, I think my compromise has worked out quite nicely.

Although, these two aren’t exactly what I had in mind when thinking of my perfect dogs!

They’re even BETTER than what I had in mind.  (All together now: awwwwwww)

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Fancy Boy…

Somehow, I totally forgot about these two pictures.

They’re my husband testing the velocity of the hair dryer and how it may affect how his hair looks.

This isn’t our bathroom by the way.  It’s from when we were in Nebraska.  I would never go to that much effort to make my bathroom look presentable. 

As long as it has a hand towel and toilet paper then I think that’s all people can really ask for in a bathroom.  You’re lucky if there’s a bottle of soap in there.

Oh-looks like this hair dryer didn’t meet his specifications.  The force must have been too much for his hair to withstand.  Because you know, if the air blows too hard, then it will totally ruin a hair-do. 

For some reason he reminds me of this guy in these pictures:

Pauly-D!  Ok, I actually know nothing about Jersey Shore except who the people are.  Because for some reason people care enough about them for it to keep taking up space on my precious gossip websites!

Let me add, I don’t think my husband looks like him, just the hair obsession. 

If only we could all just have fur.  Then hair wouldn’t matter…

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Lesson Learned…

That’s Floyd.  I’ve talked about him on here before a couple of times.  He’s my dog nephew.  My brother’s dog. 

Floyd is a special dog.  He was dumped in my brother’s friend’s backyard and ever since my brother took him he has not left his side.  He has to be everywhere his dad is. 

Not that this has anything to do with this story. 

Last night my brother took him to the vet because he couldn’t keep any food down and he was turning into skin and bones.  My brother knew what was wrong.  The x-ray confirmed it.

He had pieces of his beloved basketball lodged in his stomach.  Floyd likes to destroy basketballs and then play with only the pieces.  Well, he liked to play the ULTIMATE keep away and eat the pieces. 

To make a long story short, he had to have surgery to open up his stomach and remove said pieces of the basketball. 

I heard this morning that the surgery was SUCCESSFUL and he’ll be home sweet home Saturday night. 

Lesson learned. A very EXPENSIVE lesson learned.

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I Love Surprises…

Don’t you love little surprises in life? I do.  Especially when it involves someone buying me something.  Ok, I’m not really that materialistic or shallow, I appreciate all of life’s surprises.  Big or little, expensive or free. 

The other night my sweet husband surprised me.  Well, now that I sit here and think about it he surprised me a couple of times in the last few days. 

First, when I came home from getting my hair done (I have bangs again!) I walked into the house and the whole house was vacuumed and Swiffered.  Be still my heart.  My least favorite chore–DONE!  I kept thinking he wanted something out of it but he didn’t.  He did it because he loves me. 

(Collective awwww, followed by a puking sound is what I expect from all of my readers after a statement like that!)

Then the other night I come home from work.  The dogs were a little worked up and I said, “What’s wrong with the dogs?”

He said, “Oh they must just want outside.”

So I go to let them outside and I see these:

Aren’t they wonderful?  And please ignore the dirty mat hanging out in the corner there.  Obviously when staging this photo I did a poor job of removing unsightly eye sores from the picture.

I love the bright, cheery blue and green of them.  They’re just so fun!  And somehow the dogs playing got in the background of both pictures.  The times I don’t want them in a photo they weasel their way in.

Now we can sit out on the porch and enjoy the sweet spring breezes and the smell of dog poop floating through the air.

And our evening entertainment can be these two.

Now I know this picture may make your eyes bleed with how blurry it is.  But there’s two things I love about it: how overly dramatic Sadie (the brown one) is about a little bite on the neck and how both of them have their paws raised all dainty-like while they’re in the midst of fighting.

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Sadie Sitting…

My precious Sadie, the chocolate labrador/cat hybrid, is definitely the super model out of the two dogs.  She actual works with me when I have a camera in my hand as opposed to Lexi who runs in the other direction.  Lexi doesn’t have the body to be a model anyway. 

The other day I was taking pictures of Sadie and she looked so stoic and proud.

Have you seen a more proud dog? I think she had just got done beating the snot out of her sister, Lexi. 

Ok, she looks a little daffy in this picture.  But still, prideful eyes.  It’s sort of the opposite of Tyra’s “Smile with your eyes.” Have pride in your eyes. (I should probably trademark that.)

Stoic. Proud. Pompous. Overconfident.  Those are a few words to describe her in life and in this picture.

Although, I don’t think the background fits this attitude. 

Let me make an adjustment.

Cause she’s proud…Proud to be an American, where at least she knows she’s free. (Everybody sing) And I won’t forget the men who died, who gave that right to me. And I proudly STAND UP next to you…

Ok, sorry. I’m done.

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This Is What Adults Do…

My husband was lucky enough to receive a coloring book and some crayons from the Easter Bunny.  (He still believes in it–shhh–don’t say anything)

Somehow, coloring turned into a competition in our household.  That probably doesn’t surprise anyone.

There is his attempt. Pretty good.  He stayed in the lines.  And in his words he made the plants into coral. 

In my opinion he probably could have done a little more detail work with the water and maybe a little shade work on the shark. I give him a B-.

Here’s my attempt.  Now, I’m not playing favorites (yes I am) but mine is AWESOME!  Look at the outlining and the added sun and clouds.  It adds depth to the picture. 

My husband accused me of “jazzing up the picture” by adding the clouds and sun.  And that this was just a coloring book and not a “coloring and drawing book.”

I think he’s just jealous.

I get an A+ of course.

Am I hallucinating or is mine better? You can be honest.  Or would you consider it cheating me drawing in the sun and clouds?

I will admit, I did kind of forget to get my children anything for Easter.  Luckily they were none the wiser…

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