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Archive for August, 2008

Family…

We have some family in town (BK’s side) so I’m taking the day off! 

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Wow, wow, wow…I don’t even know how to start this off.  Per custom BK and I were at Wal Mart getting some last minute things for company coming into town.  We were headed to the check out counter and everything was normal.  Then I hear BK say, “Is that poop on the floor?!”  I turned to look and sure enough there was a little brown log in the middle of the main aisle of WalMart.  Now I know WalMart is not the classiest of places but POOP?  On the floor?  That’s a new one for me.  It didn’t look big enough to be an adult’s but I didn’t go up and analyze it either…however, I did take a picture with my camera phone…just skip through the picture if you don’t enjoy a good crap shot:

Just remember I didn’t have a “Macro” setting on my camera phone.  You get the picture though. (Pun INTENDED)

We’ll juxtapose that picture with some dog pics that will melt your cold, black heart…

Ok, so they’re not THAT sweet but somehow that fat blob of a dog (i say that COMPLETELY lovingly) managed to get on BOTH couch pillows…

She’s about half-sick of her picture being taken…

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I learned a few things tonight about what not to do when my husband is working on a house project.  Both of our electrical outlets in both bathrooms went out and he was trying to replace the plugs (or receptacles as they’re apparently called).  I’ll give you the ending to the story, it wasn’t the plugs so now we have to find an electrician.  But I digress…he asked me to come hold the flashlights for him because obviously we had to turn the electricity off.  Three things that I should never do again while he’s working so hard:

1.  Do not under any circumstances make shadow puppets on the wall as he’s trying to see screws, plugs, wires…blah blah blah. Side note-I made a killer dinosaur. 

2.  Do not start singing random songs in his ear while he’s hunched over with a wire in one hand and a screwdriver in the other.

3.  Do not use the flashlights that are casting lights on his work to perform a light show, that although impressive, are inappropriate for such an occasion.  This was about the point I got kicked out…

Oh and also, I thought he was doing something wrong and I let him know.  That was the SECOND time I got kicked out.  hehe

                                                                                                                                                                

I swear my dogs cannot sit still for one picture.  And when they finally do their tongues are hanging out of their mouths.

You know, maybe in this one they’re just hugging and going in for a little kiss…or DANCING

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Since nothing in my life right now is that worthy of posting about I thought I’d embarrass myself some more.  I came across a picture of myself after I had had my make-up done for the trial run before my wedding.  I had this done at a pretty nice salon and by what I had heard a pretty good make-up artist.  Now I have a couple of acne scars around my chin line which apparently meant “let’s basically put a harajuku girl mask on your face.” For some reason after I had it done I had to run up to work for something and my boss took a picture of me.  (I think it was to reassure me that it didn’t look like crap when it appeared in photographs or just so he’d have something to blackmail me with)  Ok, I’m done beating around the bush…here it is in all it’s glory…

COME ON!!  I look like the freaking JOKER!  Honestly when I saw the thumbnail of this a couple of weeks ago I thought to myself, “When did I dress up like the Joker at work…”  I didn’t tan all of those months just to have it hidden away by Johnson and Johnson’s baby powder.  Needless to say I cancelled the appointment…To balance this out I’ll put a picture of me from the wedding of the make-up I DID…I should totally be a makeup artist.

Oh my dad’s so cute…unfortunately I’m in the process of inheriting his double chin.

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This really isn’t a well timed story because it takes place around Easter time but it keeps floating through my head so I’m depositing it to get it out of my head! 

Picture a sweet, innocent, beautiful girl (me) and two mean, stupid boys (my brothers) on a lovely, peaceful Easter Sunday. (I’m not sure if I used enough descriptive words and parentheses)  (did I spell parantheses right??!) I was over at a neighbor’s house enjoying my new toys that I had received from the Easter Bunny.  My brothers came over to the neighbors to get me because they had planned an Easter egg hunt for me.  I should have known something was up because they had never gone out of their way to do something nice for me.  But, being the naive 10 year old I was, I ran outside gleefully to go find some eggs.  I found one (and I think in retrospect it was the only egg they had hid).  I was so excited I shook it around to see what they could have put in there for me.  Could it be candy?  Or maybe even MONEY?  I opened the egg to have two pissed off bees chasing after me.  My awesome brothers had gone out of their way to capture two bees and set me up to get stung.  I can’t really remember what I did after that, I’m sure I ran home crying and tattling about what they’d done. 

Ok, my brain feels lighter now…

Conked out:

Feeling no pain:

Have I mentioned how much I HATE my camera?  Maybe if enough people agree with me then my husband will be convinced I need a new one…

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Ok, so my husband forced me (BY GUNPOINT NO LESS) to sit there all day yesterday and watch The Lord of the Rings marathon that was on TNT (thanks a lot Ted Turner).  I swear BK has a sixth sense that lets him know anytime that any of those movies are on.  I wouldn’t mind it so much but A.  He’s seen them a billion times and B.  We actually OWN the movies so he could watch it anytime he wants (preferably when I’m not around.)  There is something that really bugs me about the movies though.  Why is Frodo the “hero”??  I know he “bared the burden” of carrying the ring, but who had to put up with all of Frodo’s crap?  Sam…Samwise Gamgee (ok, I totally Googled that)  In my eyes he’s the hero of the movie not stupid Frodo.  I’m sure I’m missing some point but I don’t care what you say, Sam’s my hero.  And I’m not sure, were Sam and Frodo dating?  I’m probably just reading a little to far into some of their loving glances and adoring comments.

The neighbor kids have a problem. They can’t keep their freaking toys on their side of the fence.  So, instead of being polite and throwing them back over we’re holding them hostage.  Also, I’m noticing that BK has neglected this area in weedeating.  I guess it’s one of those out of sight, out of mind things.  Just don’t judge me on that…

Can I tell you how much I love the picture below?  Other than the clear shot of her butthole it just is the sweetest picture ever.  She’s carefree…

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Flunk Fish…

I think the title will be the most interesting part of this…My mind’s blank…

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Remember that post a week or so ago about the cute little spider that was playing dead?? (here)  Well, her mommy came for vengence last night.  We were stressed out enough because we were in the midst of cleaning out little Sadie’s ears, then out of nowhere I see this spider run out from behind the toilet and I can’t remember if I screamed or just said “Oh my gosh…” Well, BK jumped up and saw it and ran out of the room…I ran out too mainly to grab my camera because I ALWAYS need material for my blog.  Well, this little guy (or girl) was waiting for us when we came back…

He was MASSIVE…I would say he was about the size of a matchbook if not larger.  I’m not exaggerating when I say it took us probably 20 or 30 minutes to come up with a plan to get rid of him.  I use the word “plan” very loosely since everytime the spider moved BK would run out of the room screaming like a little girl.  (I would scream too but I’m a girl) The final plan was to coax the spider out of the corner, throw a washcloth on it and smash it.  I refused to kill it because I don’t kill things and this thing was big enough it would have felt like killing a chiuaua.  So I got the spider out of the corner and BK smashed it and we both proceeded to run out of the room screaming to the other side of the house…but it was dead.  Here’s another angle of it…

Oh, it appears I need to vacuum. 

Also, I made Burger King take a picture of my “goiter” last night.  Without further adeu I present to you…

The Goiter!!!

Daily fighting picture of the dogs:

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Do you ever have those dreams that are just a little TOO vivid?  I had one of those last night.  Although I woke up knowing full well it wasn’t real I still thought for a second maybe it could have been.  My dream involved me giving birth to a lovely baby girl.  Apparently I had a c-setion but I was up and down the bunk beds pretty much right after the birth.  Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the hospital bed I was in was a bunk bed.  Pretty convenient, right?!  The best part of this was my husband actually wanted to name her Coco.  Not that I’m bashing the name but I think it’s a little to canine for my taste.  And it’s sort of lame because I KNOW that the name Coco was brought up because I had just read Dooce’s page right before bed and that’s the name of her dog.  I just remember looking at this tiny baby like, “ok, now what do I do with you.”  Yeah, I guess it was more of a nightmare…I am SO not ready for kids.

On a much funner (funner? or is it more fun??) note somehow I got lucky and scored MARIO KART!  I’m pumped!  I’m thinking I’m going to need to get myself right with God because I’m going to need his forgiveness…Mario Kart just brings out the worst in me.  I LOVE IT!  Also, Burger King bought me a PINK WII WHEEL from where he works.  It is so cute and he got to lug it around work.  There’s nothing manlier than a pink Wii wheel (does not actually contain the “Wiimote).  I thought about giving one away, any thoughts on that??

I know this is too much information but I’m sharing anyways-I have a second head growing out of the side of my neck.  Still waiting to see if it’s a goiter or just a zit…

The dogs have been soooooooooooo depressed because of all of the rain

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When the BIG news broke that two guys had found Bigfoot I was so anxious to see the pictures and evidence.  Although I don’t necessarily belive in that kind of stuff I enjoy reading about it.  Well, when THIS is the picture that came out I became a little fishy…

It looked a little familiar and then after finding out it was indeed a fake I remembered from my youth one of my brother’s Halloween costumes…

I KNEW I HAD SEEN THAT COSTUME BEFORE!

P.S. I know I am totally adorable in that picture…

P.S.S. (or is it PPS??) It also looks like I am picking a wedgie…

P.S.S.S.  I think I wore that costume every year for Halloween up until college…

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