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Archive for September, 2008

Last night I was doing a tiny amount of internet research on vacuums.  We need a new one because ours is tiny and since the dogs basically shed small puppies nightly we need one that sucks really good. (Wow that was probably the worst sentence written in the English language.) Well, I go to Amazon to do research on one in particular–can’t remember the name–and I was reading the reviews.  One stuck out in my mind…

I really was unaware that you had to fertilize your vacuums for use.  That is a total Con–it would keep me away from buying this model.  Although the fact that it’s “cheep” might overcompensate for the fertilizer. 

On a totally unrelated note, my husband wanted me to inform you that he is not evil and that I am portraying him in a bad light on this blog.  While he is not “evil” I have not embellished any stories of him on here.  And I kind of think he’s a little evil because he STILL has not bought me a camera. 

I’m thinking I need to feed the dogs more

Yeah, they were fighting over an old tree limb.  They both wanted to chew the SAME branch.  I never said they were smart (did I?!)

They figured it out

By the way–we’re planning a trip for Florida next year.  Anyone have any suggestions???  Thanks in advance!

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This weekend was just one of those weekends where not much happened.  I’m not complaining AT ALL because it’s nice to occassionally veg and not do anything.

Does your husband ever make you watch the worst movies ever?  I could curse the day that On Demand Free movies came to be. (I like to randomly capitalize letters, how did I ever pass English??!) Twice this weekend–TWICE I had to watch horrible movies.  First on Saturday night it was Ghost Rider.  It was painful–I guess that’s just not my genre but I don’t get it.  Last night was the worst–MORTAL KOMBAT.  It was awful.  Like how could he spend more than five minutes watching this awful. I guess I’m the idiot who stayed in there. Luckily I was blog surfing so it worked out. It’s very rare when a video game can be translated into a movie.  So, what’s the worst movie your husband made you watch? Or vice-a-versa? Or if you’re not married what is the worst movie YOU’VE ever watched? 

Am I the only one who has trouble with Saran Wrap and foil?  For some reason it either curls up on me or won’t stay where it’s supposed to stay…

Did some decorating–using stuff I stole from my mom’s attic. 

I love those little ghosts.  I told my mom I was “Borrowing” them but I may end up “stealing” them. 

And for all of those naysayers out there who were wondering why I was searching for dog costumes this early–well I went to buy them yesterday and guess what?! SOLD OUT! I just hope Target gets another supply in.  It’s not easy getting a costume for a double-x pup. 

I once read a few years ago that a dogs intelligence is measured on a few certain things.  One specific test that you could do was throw a towel over them and see how long it took for them to get it off.  The longer it stayed on the dumber they are…let’s see here….

4 hours later…

Ok, ok it wasn’t 4 hours.  But I still had to be the one to take it off of her.  And just ignore the bra in the background–DANGIT! haha

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I was tagged by Rhea from Texas Word Tangle to list 7 Random/Weird facts about myself.  I thought I’d do five of me and 1 for each dog.  Although I don’t think I’m weird or random in ANY way my husband begs to differ.  Let the games begin!  (By the way I’m so glad you tagged me because it has been a BORING weekend!)

1. I LOVE hand puppets.  I don’t actually own any but I love playing with them.  My favorite is this type:

2. Anytime I eat Fla-Vor-Ice I cough.  This makes it really difficult because I LOVE Fla-Vor-Ice but for some reason it tickles my throat and makes me cough.  I don’t know if this goes with Otter Pops.

3.  I have never once mowed the lawn.  Having two older brothers, dad, and now a husband I haven’t ever had to do it!  Luckily I have zero interest in it so it works out great.

4.  I once licked an outdoor Arby’s table for only a handful of change.

5. I haven’t had a sip of Dr. Pepper in over 10 years.  It was my favorite drink and I could drink a 3 liter a day so that’s why it had to go.  Sometimes when BK gets it to drink I have to take sniffs of it.  I guess that’s a weird statement in and of itself.

OKAY–DOGS TURN!

6.Sadie likes to go to the back door-scratch at it, bark to go out.  While that’s not weird when we get up to let her out, open the door she runs the other way and we have to literally push her out the door.  (This color looks like baby poop)

7. I would say Lexi is mostly normal but she can’t hop up on the bed or couch.  (Of course she’s not allowed up there! Why do you ask?!) We have to put our hands down like a step so she can step up and strain to get up.  And for those of you who’d suggest stairs–done that and she’s apparently scared of them.

Ok, I’m not going to tag anyone but if you leave a comment and have never been tagged then consider yourself tagged!  By the way these are the first things that came to mind and when I asked my husband the only response I received was, “Ummm…” and then he proceeded to watch football.

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I was reminded of a story yesterday that is sort of funny.  Well, to me it’s hilarious but ALL of my stories are hilarious to me! 

A few years ago when BK and I were dating he had me go back to his childhood hometown in Nebraska for a 50 year jubilee for his church. All the people there were separated into large groups to do “get-to-know-you” games. (I use way to many quotation marks) I was in a group with BK and all of his friends and a lot of people I didn’t know.  We play the always FUN and totally comfortable “get-to-know-you” games and then it’s time for the “service.” (see unnecessary quotes–why do I do it?!)

I don’t recall what the lesson was about but we were going to say the closing prayer.  The person leading the closing prayer announced, “Let’s all grab hands and bow our heads and pray.”  Well there was a complete stranger sitting to my right so as I look over to grab the gentleman’s hand who was sitting next to me, OF COURSE this would happen to me, the guy sitting next to me didn’t have an ARM!  Now, he was a very nice man and he looked at me and said, “GRAB ON!” His wife sort of giggled and throughout the WHOLE prayer all of BK’s friends were just laughing up a storm.  Do you know who probably wasn’t laughing?  God, that’s who…

On a TOTALLY unrelated note–thank you so much for all of your feedback yesterday!  I don’t feel like such a foreigner in blogland anymore.  You all are the best. 

Can anyone tell me why opossums are so stupid?  And why they’re spelled with an “o” and not just a “p?”  That same opossum that was there the other night was back. Why can’t it just pick a different fence–maybe one that doesn’t have two raging beasts that LOVE small animals and jumping on fences.  Well I decided to totally traumatize the guy and shine a flashlight on him AND take a picture of him.  That’ll show him…

He’s SOOO bitter–I LOVE IT!

Since I called the babies beasts I’ll put a sweet picture of them up-

SIKE!!

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I’m not a mommy!  What a headline! I don’t know if anyone feels the same as I do.  Somedays in this blog land I feel like a foreigner.  I don’t know what a boppy is (Is that even still popular?) or what Baby Einstein video is popular.  Don’t get me wrong I absolutely LOVE reading about you all and your kids lives, otherwise I wouldn’t be reading them.  But I’m curious:

How many of you are mommies?  How many not?  Are you more or less inclined to read a blog that is not written by a mommy? 

I want some honesty here people!! 

I mean I know I claim to be a mom:

But dogs only do so much…so here’s my question–

Should I get pregnant for blogs’ sake??

Ok, I’m totally kidding I would never get pregnant for entertainment reasons.  I do a lot for entertainment but I might actually regret that decision. 

In other news, I’m never allowed to touch the $300 remote again.  I was merely taking pictures of the remote to show you all

And I wanted to get a good shot of the screen that you program your favorite channels in:

Well, I touched a button and it somehow shut off the tv and changed the settings.  All I heard was, “WHAT DID YOU DO?!” “Stop breaking things around this house for your blog”

AND FINALLY…VIDEO OF THE DOGS AND FLOYD!! I had to stop it because, well, you’ll see…

Sadie got her boyfriend taken away.  Lexi’s such a hussy…

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Let’s see where do I begin??!! Last night started off so relaxing.  Aunt Lauren came over to watch the Biggest Loser and BK was busy trying to program his $300 remote that he got free from work.  If you’re sensing any bitterness then your senses are working correct–who needs a $300 REMOTE??! Ok, ok sorry for the tangent.  Well, I had gone outside to yell at the dogs and Brian locked me out.  Haha he’s hilarious and so clever.  Aunt Lauren got up to let me in and it took her a minute or two to figure out the lock situation.  So I’m in and finishing up The Biggest Loser, said goodbye to Lauren and settled in to blog stalk and tweet for the rest of the night. 

Fast Forward about an hour…

Dogs are barking AGAIN.  I go out to yell at them (and when I say yell I mean that I’m calmly and assertively <-not sure if that’s a word -> telling them to be quiet.)  Well they won’t shut up so I knock on the window to get BK to come out and help me.  For some reason they listen to HIM and NOT ME! So we get them calmed down and they’re following us inside.  Oh–funny story the door was locked.  I told him to go around, go through the garage and open the door.  I wait and wait and wait.  He comes back around, “Well SOMEBODY locked the door.”  Yeah, because I’m psychic and knew this would happen so I thought it would be fun to lock the door.  Yada, yada, yada every window and door to our house is locked.  So we sat there for a moment and me, being the brilliant one, looked at the door leading into our house from the garage and said, “Let’s take the door off the hinges–I can squeeze in and get us in.”  Visual:

 

That’s pretty much exactly what it looked like–including arm muscles and work boots. (Ed. note:  I would have taken an actual picture, and it did cross my mind but I think that would have been the point when my husband would have resorted to physical violence and more importantly I didn’t have access to the camera anyways…)

Ok, ok, ok…back to this GREAT awful story!  Meanwhile, BK is taking the door off the hinges and the dogs are going psychotic outside.  I go out to check on them and they’re running back and forth wildly barking.  On top of being locked out, there is a FREAKING POSSUM (Opossum) in our backyard just stuck with fear on the fence.  Well, my dogs LOVE killing small animals so they were super excited at this opportunity.  My poor neighbors had to listen to them bark incessantly for about 30 minutes while we’re prying our door open.  Don’t worry we made it in and I could tell BK wanted to blame it on me somehow but we all know it boils down to Aunt Lauren….

THANKS A LOT AUNT LAUREN…jerk!!!

The night ended with me saying, “Hmmm I wonder what I’m going to write about on my blog” Only to receive an icy stare back in my direction.

But, really–what do you do in that situation?  A locksmith?  Break a window?  I’m so out of the loop…

They Love ME–They REALLY Love ME…

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…shaved one leg, looked at the other, and thought “Why did I even start this?”

…looked at clothes on a model thought “Oh that is so cute!” and then remembered you’re only 5’1 and have the hips the size of Texas?

…been watching tv and thought “She has gotten fat!” which immediately makes you feel better about yourself until you realize you had it on the wide angle feature? 

You haven’t?  Yeah me either…

FLOYD-IAN SLIP

(I know it doesn’t make sense–just go with me people)

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