Archive for March, 2010

If you are here for the Apple/Itunes giftcard it is found here. Although you can read this post too!


Here’s the deal, my body is extremely interesting–in a weird sort of way.  Mainly my appendages.  I’ve talked about my nubby toes and small feet here. My father gave me the stubs gene so I look like I’m walking on hooves.

I want to delve a little deeper into the appendage known as the toe. 

Let’s take a look, shall we?

Ok, ignore the waffle pattern on my foot.  Clearly I had just taken off a sock and this was THE ONLY time I could take a picture of my foot.  Maybe not…anyway, back to my point.

That’s my foot from a distance.  Pretty stumpy and my toes are barely there.  I’m not sure I even have joints in my toes. 

Let’s take a closer look…

First things first-look at my second and third toes.  Do you notice something? They’re slightly WEBBED.  I’m part duck people!  I actually have a friend with the same two toes webbed pretty much the whole way up.  And we were actually born in the same town only four days apart. There must be something in the water!

Ok, secondly (am I boring you yet? If so, you can stop reading) my third and fourth toes.  Look at the tips of them.  The tips are crooked!  Here’s some arrows to help you out:

The nail sits properly on the toe, but the tip of the toe is CROOKED. I don’t understand what my mother must have been doing when she was pregnant with me! Probably nothing, I’m just part mutant. 

And don’t even get me started on how many lines I have on my toes/foot.  You should see my palms!  A palm reader would never be able to tell me my future.

Well, now that I’ve made you and me sick by all of these foot pictures, let’s take a look at something a little cuter.

I think Lexi looks like a black panther in this picture.  She’ll snap your leg in half just like that stick. Watch out!

Ten million dollars says I was holding a tennis ball.

I hope the dog pictures cleansed your eyes of monstrosities that are my toes.

Over and out…

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If you’re looking for the Apple/Itunes Giftcard Giveaway it’s located here.


My life is way more exciting than yours.  I can assure you of that.

Here’s an example of a night at my house at the height of excitement.

My sweet husband beckons me outside where he has spotted something unusual up in the tree.

Why the heck is there an apple in the tree?  As far as I remember, this isn’t an apple tree. (The humor never stops on this blog people.)

My husband’s best guess is a squirrel or a cat had it and left it in our tree.

I, of course, have other thoughts on the matter.

I think, that maybe this is THE apple from the Bible.  And somehow in a parallel universe it got caught up in a time continuum and our back yard is in fact The Garden of Eden.  That apple could be worth millions.

It’s either that or maybe a hobo is living in our backyard and accidentally left his lunch in the tree. 

And another thing, I actually dragged (is it dragged or drug) a step ladder out in the backyard this morning to take those pictures.  So, you’re welcome.

And ANOTHER thing, these two girls are falling down on their job if they’re letting hobos live in our backyard.

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The winner has been picked!  The winner is #51 Steph.  Thanks everyone for entering!

Once in a lifetime something amazing happened.  This weekend that moment happened.

More exciting than my wedding day and I can imagine more exciting than the day I give birth. 

This weekend my pups, Lexi and Sadie, were on the front page of PEOPLEpets!

Do you recognize those little ballerinas?  That’s right–front page, big and beautiful!  Luckily the tutus are covering up their trouble areas. 

There’s the actual captioned picture.  They are STARS.  Finally, they’re getting the recognition they deserve.

Oh what’s that?

Who’s that below a brooding LC and a gloomy Kristin? Yeah that’s right. Sadie was on the front page of PEOPLE! (The website, not the magazine, Jesse James and Sandra B. ruined that one for us this week)

To celebrate this shining moment in my life I thought I’d do a giveaway.

Who wants a $50 Apple giftcard? (Please note: The Apple giftcard is only valid on Apple’s website or in an Apple store. It cannot be used on Itunes) How about a $25 Itunes giftcard to go along with that? 

One person will win both! 

Here’s how to enter.

Answer this question in the comments:

What is the most exciting thing to ever happen to you?

Did you meet a celebrity? Lose twenty pounds? Or something as simple as getting out bed?

  • For an additional entry you can follow me on Twitter . If you’re already following me let me know.
  • For an additional entry Retweet about the contest and come back here and let me know you retweeted. If you don’t have twitter and want to blog about it just put a link to that blog post in the comments. But you can only do one or the other. Not both.

So you can have a total of three entries per person.  Be sure and leave a valid email address or blog address so I can get ahold of you if you win!

This contest will go through Friday April 2, 2010 at midnight central time.  Time is up! Winner will be announced sometime in the next 24 hours! Winner will be picked randomly and announced sometime this upcoming weekend.  Due to the giftcard restrictions this giveaway is open only to US residents. (Sorry international folks.)

Oh and Apple doesn’t know who I am.  But they may know who my pups are thanks to People.

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Last night after dinner over at Eric and Lauren’s (by the way Lauren made homemade Oreos and Oh-my-gosh…so good) Lauren and I were having a discussion about what we would change about ourselves if plastic surgery didn’t cost anything.  Also, if it didn’t hurt or if it wasn’t, you know, SURGERY. 

And let me just say as an aside, I would never actually do anything to myself and I wouldn’t judge anyone if they did.  I mean never say never, maybe one day I’ll get something done. But as of now I’m not planning to.

I started rattling off the things I would do, “…thin out the bridge of my nose, get my dark under-eye circles filled in, thin my jaw-line out, lipo here-here-and here…” Lauren added her two cents but I won’t share hers because this is MY blog and not hers.  Get your own!

I look over and my husband was looking at me in horror.  Utter and complete horror. Which isn’t always a surprise but usually it’s in response to me doing something humiliating in public.  Dancing in public really brings out that look of shock and horror.

When we got home I said, “What was with that look you gave me when I was talking about doing all those things to myself?”

He said, “Well, it sounded like you wanted to completely change the way you look.”

I said, “All girls are like that. They all want to change SOMETHING about themselves.”

The minute that came out of my mouth I thought, huh, I could be wrong. Maybe there are people out there that are one-hundred percent satisfied with who they are. 

Then I wondered what that would be like. 

Is it wrong to want to change things about yourself? Am I alone in this thought?

If only I could just be a dog and not have to worry about life’s trivial details like plastic surgery…

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Is anyone out there sick of looking at horses?  You’re in luck!  Today you’ll get to see a room that makes any room in your house look like a junk yard.  Even if that room is spotless in your mind.

This is The White Room.  I’m sure the couch and chairs are comfortable but no one really knows because no one really sits in there.  It’s pristine! 

The White Room is in my husband’s grandparent’s house that we stay in while we’re in Nebraska. Not that this is the only room in their house that is spotless. 

Every room in their house is spotless. No dust, dirt, or hair.  ANYWHERE.  It’s crazy.  In a good way.  I only wish I could keep up with my house the way that they do.

His grandma probably did ten to twenty loads of laundry while we were there from Wednesday (late night) until Sunday (early morning). 

When she visited us last year she cleaned off each individual window of our French doors!

Don’t take this as knocking her, it’s something I aim to achieve.  Maybe not quite on her level.  But maybe care enough to do the dishes every once in a while.  Or take out the trash. Or shower. Or actually even remotely care about the clumps of dog hair around the house. 

Sadly, this weekend The White Room will be transformed. Although I’m sure it will still be spotless no matter what color it ends up being.

I do know one thing though, these two would NEVER be allowed in their house, let alone that room!

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Toots And Dazzle…

A little introduction, this is Toots and Dazzle.  That is his name.  I know he looks slightly, umm, deceased in the top picture.  He’s not though, he was just rolling around and getting dirty.

Toots and Dazzle had a bit of a problem.  I’m not sure what he was given to eat.  I know it wasn’t the twenty or thirty carrots I gave him earlier that affected him in any way, shape or form!

I’m thinking he may have got a hold of some Beef-a-Reeno. Name that show!

As my husband and I were soaking in the quiet peace of the stables (the word stable sounds too classy for where we actually were) out of no where we hear something breaking wind. Cutting the cheese. Letting loose.

Poor Toots and Dazzle was just a ball of gas.  And all he could do to get it out was buck it out of there.  It was one of those moments that you wished more than anything that you had a video camera.  It always seems some of the funniest things happen when you don’t have a way to record it! 

He worked it out after about fifteen or twenty minutes.  And I’m pretty sure we know how he got that name. 

Needless to say, anytime my husband or I breaks wind we call the other one Toots and Dazzle. Not that I ever would do that. I am a lady of course.

Speaking of Toots and Dazzle…

Those could easily be alternative names for these two little pups. It’s up to you which is which.

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These chickens cracked me up at the stables. They walked up and down the corridor looking for food that the horses had dropped. 

And I do realize this is a rooster. You could tell he owned this place.  He probably could have intimidated some of the horses if they let him.

When they got down to our way they could tell we had food.  The trainer informed us that they were waiting for us to drop a grape for them.

We gladly obliged and dropped a few. 

I swear sometimes animals know when you’re taking their picture.  This little girl stood there and waited and waited until I was done taking her picture.  And when I put the camera down she was out of there.

This picture reminds me of the scene in 101 Dalmatians when all of the farm animals are spreading the word that the Dalmatians have been stolen. 

I think the animals are just gossiping about the other animals.  You know chickens, all they’re good for is gossip!

And just for good measure, here’s a picture of the dogs!

This is right after I told them that not only are we getting a horse, now we’re getting chickens too!

I think they’re both thinking “DINNER!”

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This past weekend I traveled north to the breathtaking state of Nebraska.  While many say Nebraska is boring I like to think of it as relaxing. 

My husband was nice enough to set up a time where we could go feed horses at the local race track. His grandparents, who (or is it whom?) we were with, know a trainer out there. 

Yes, we had to have a pass to get to the horses. Although, they have the wrong date printed on there so I don’t feel quite as special.

To be honest I was a little nervous to go feed them.  My fingers slightly resemble baby carrots.  What if they took off a hand?  The largest thing I’ve ever fed is the fat dog, also known as Lexi.

There’s the trainer. I’m not for sure, but I think he may have thought I was an idiot.  Every time I would go up to the horse I would show them the carrot and say, “Carrot…” like the horse had a clue what I was saying. 

I did learn, however, that horses can eat peppermints.  That was their dessert!

I also learned never to utter the words, “I want a horse…” in the vicinity of trainers who would gladly sell you their horse.  Although the guy who we knew actually said he’d GIVE me one if I had a place to keep it.

I thought the backyard would be a good spot.  Clear out our shed and just turn that into a stable.  I’m sure the neighbors wouldn’t mind.  And the dogs would love it too!

And this picture is why husband’s shouldn’t be allowed to take pictures of their wives.  If I was with another female, she would have said “Oh, no, we’re taking another one. You had a major double-chin in that.” But one thing I do love about this picture is that it shows how GIANT this horse was.  It’s head was half my size.  Granted I’m a midget, but still, it was huge. I’m thinking midget isn’t the politically correct term to use.

I mentioned to the dogs that we may be bringing a horse home…This was their reaction:

Anger and disbelief.

More on my Nebraska adventures tomorrow!

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This Picture…

This picture says so much about this dog Sadie.  It appears that she may be sick of me taking her picture and slapping that camera right out of my hand. But let’s be real, she ain’t that smart. 

In reality, she was licking her chops because I was holding a treat and high fiving me in order to earn that treat. 

All in all I would say it’s an epic picture if I do say so myself.

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The randomly selected winner to the Fur Fighter giveaway is Kait who absolutely LOVES summertime!  Congrats Kait! I will get ahold of you shortly and work out the details!  Another giveaway will happen soon!  Thanks to all who participated!

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