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Archive for the ‘A weighty issue’ Category

Once upon a time there was a dainty little, roly-poly puppy named Lexi.

She began to grow and grow into a cute little toddler-dog.

Another couple of months went by and she grew into her adult sized body.

There was a problem though.  She kept growing and growing and growing and growing.  Instead of growing longer and taller she grew outwards and sideways. 

Now she can barely strain her neck to look over her shoulder.

The end.

Also, the end of her eating anything she wants days.  This pooch is on a diet!  And it’s the most pathetic thing you’ve ever seen. 

If you don’t hear from me, I’m doing some therapy for a dog who’s addicted to food. We’re kindred spirits in that way.

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I have been in this epic struggle with my weight recently.  My body has rejected every form of excercise I’ve put it through.  All of the wonderful, fatty foods I have given up have been for naught because my body doesn’t care what I eat it wants to stay flabby.  It’s latching on to my fat like it’s life depends on it! 

My husband (can you tell my husband and I are ALWAYS together?) was so sweet the other night to run up to the store and grab a bag of dog food the other night.  Let’s all swoon that my husband runs errands for me.  Well before we think too highly of him, he walks through the door with a bag of stuff for him to make dinner.

“I got something you may want.”

That is never a good sign.  If it’s something that I actually WANT to eat it’s obviously not good for me.

Then this comes peeking around the corner

“Ohhh why did you do that? Those are my favorite,” I said.

He said in a proud voice, “I know, that’s why I got them!”

He obviously forgets what a diet, I’m sorry, “life-style change” entails.  It’s sort of based on not eating junk like that.  And I feel blasphemous calling it junk because–oh how I love junk. 

I can’t knock him for it.  He’s just trying to make me happy–and he does!  But please, oh please don’t bring home anymore junk! The candy bowl at work is hard enough to stay away from!

I’ve only had about five, which says a lot about my self-control.  Otherwise, they entire bag would have been gone in one setting. 

The day is young though…the day is young.

Speaking of Cool Ranch Doritos…wait, this has nothing to do with Doritos:

I guess they could be looking at a Dorito.  Works for me!

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