Let’s See, Work or Catch Up On Blogging…

Hello?!  Is anybody out there?  I hope you all can accept my DEEPEST apologies.  I have felt like I have been two steps into a grave (I’m pretty sure that’s not a saying) these past few days.  But I’m feeling much better today and feel like I can care about other people’s lives other than my own!  Not much has happened–I can however tell you what happens between the hours of 3:30am and 7:00am on a Saturday night.  Not much…not much.

I just have to had this picture because it makes me laugh–it’s courtesy of Eric.  Thanks Eric!

That’s pretty much a consistent look I have on my face daily when dealing with hubby…

So, I’m sure you all have been anticipating my Twilight review.  And let me tell you, after this review I maybe taking over for Ebert.  Well, it sucked.  (Get it? SUCKED–VAMPIRE!)  I’m sure it didn’t help that I felt like crap the whole movie and I already had a chip on my shoulder from dealing with pointy-elbowed 13 year old girls with “Team Edward” shirts on.   We showed up about an hour and a half early to stand in line.  So the group behind us grew from 5 people to 20 people in the matter of 5 minutes.  And of course they were loud and obnoxious and thought they could fit those said 20 people in the amount of space that would fit maybe 8 max.  My claustrophobia was at an all time high.  They kept running into us and I don’t know how many time Lauren got a purse shoved up her hind end.  Although I didn’t hear her complaining…

I do have one funny story about the people behind us:

Die-hard Twilight fangirl:  “Blah blah blah Edward is perfect blah blah blah”

13 year old boy who doesn’t care:  “Yada yada Edward is dumb yada yada”

Twilight fangirl then proceeds to SLAP (VERY HARD) 13 year old boy for saying that.

13 year old boy w.d.c. and everyone else in that group:  “Why did YOU do that–that was hard?”

Twilight fangirl:  “Well, now you know what pushes my buttons…”

Oh young, fictional, vampiric love…

I’m not even sure why they needed the book Twilight for the movie.  Other than the characters names not really one thing was the same.  I know that’s how it goes with most movies I just need to learn to read the book AFTER.  I’m still bitter though…

I know you’ve missed the pups so I’ll put an extra dose of pictures of them up!  YOU’RE WELCOME!

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This Is What You Get When I’m Sick…

Not feeling the best today. I almost accidentally typed “not feeling the breast today.”  Good grief! It’s one of those sicks where even your TEETH hurt.  I’m trying to salvage all of my energy for Twilight tonight.  I wonder if my boss would notice if I napped all day…

I noticed an interesting pattern in my things people search to get to me box. 

Two days ago there was a search for “i not popular but i like a popular girl.” (ignore the bad English)

Then yesterday there was a search for “how to take down a popular girl”

I’m guessing things did not go well for the unpopular fellow.

Speaking of popular girls…

I think Sadie’s the Queen Bee…

I plan to be back to normal on Monday if not SOONER (speaking of Sooners GO OU!) So I apologize for being such a bad blogger this week!  Now I’m off to stare at my desk and make it look like I’m doing something for the next 5 hours.

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A New Level Of Laziness…

My plan yesterday backfired on so many levels.  I was going to go out meet some new blogger friends and embrace the freedom of a day off by watching movies and perusing blogs.  Well let’s see what all happened–the wireless didn’t work and there was no WAY I was going to sit and stare at a desktop all day in an uncomfortable computer chair. Especially when the lure of a la-z-boy was right in front of my face.  Then it turns out on top of babysitting my mother I had to babysit Floyd.  Floyd the puppy can’t stay outside by himself because he’s afraid to be left.   He’s such a baby.  Also my mom kept trying to undo the straps I had to hold her down so she wouldn’t move.   So needless to say instead of visiting hundreds of people today I visited NONE. 

My mom’s surgery went great!  I appreciate all of the well wishes to her and I will certainly pass them along as soon as she’s with it enough to understand again what a blog is.  I didn’t get to keep the tumor and the doctor didn’t even have the courtesy to ask if I wanted it.  These people have no sentimental value!

*This would be where I would find a google image of a tumor to put in here but I looked and I almost vomitted.  Do NOT go looking for pictures of tumors unless you have an iron stomach.*

So I have to tell you about this really annoying guy in the waiting room.  He was accompanying a lady–I don’t think they were married.  They were probably in their 80’s I’d say.  I was enjoying my Martha Stewart Living magazine in the peace and quiet until this guy started in. 

“It is just SO quiet in here.  No one is talking or saying a word.  Well, I guess I’m talking…” 

You have to picture that there’s a total of two people other than him in the waiting room and we’re sitting on opposite ends of the waiting room.  I think he was waiting for one of us to look up at him and smile–but instead of being funny he was just really, REALLY annoying. 

You people wonder why I call the dogs tumors–look at the evil looks they give me. 

“Throw my ball or DIE!”

“Let me out or I’ll take YOU out…”

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Maybe It’s A Tumor…

Can anyone name what movie that’s from?  Anyone?  ANYONE?!  It’s Kindergarten Cop…”It’s not a tumor.”  Oh I absolutely LOVED that movie.  “MISTER KIMBLE ARE YOU ALRIGHT?”  I could quote that movie all day…but I won’t.

I’m off today to hang out with my mom all day while she recovers from her tumor surgery.  (When I say off I mean I’m off work–I’ll have nothing better to do than blog so I’ll probably harrass you all the WHOLE day!)I’m sure she loves me talking about her and her tumor on my blog.  Oh well, she’ll be too out of it to even know.  This tumor is in her mouth around her gum in the back.  I’ve asked several times if she’d ask the oral surgeon to keep her tumor but she just thinks I’m insane.  And I probably am.  I mean I accused the Bloggess of hitting on me over email. 

I was “tagged” by Emily a week or so ago to talk about the man behind my blog.  My husband.  You all know a little bit about him: He’s a Husker fan, he loves cheeseburgers (hince the nickname burger king) and he kind of thinks I’m an idiot. 

Here’s some things you didn’t know about him:

He LETS me do the dishes, laundry and cook!

He LETS me pay for the groceries!

and He LETS me clean up the dog poop in the backyard!

I am without a doubt the LUCKIEST girl in the world! Ok, I’m kidding. 

 He is THE BEST guy that puts up with my weirdness and my stupid, stupid jokes.  And he takes care of me like no one else could. And he is a great provider for me and the dogs.  He works extremely hard and is more selfless than anyone I know. I love him to death!

Ok, I have a couple of awards that were given to me:

From She’s Lump and Sassy Two Socks I received the Kreativ Blogger Award!  Thanks ladies!  I appreciate it so, so much! 

And Heather from Sugar N’ Spice & Mostly Nice has been overly generous and given me THREE awards! 

Thanks again! It always makes a person feel good to get awards that’s why if your NAME has LETTERS in it I bestow these awards to you.  Please take them!  I love you all!

Speaking of tumors and love…

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Illegal Gaming…

How many of you have been to Cracker Barrel?  Me–I go as often as I can.  It’s sort of a tradition to go anytime we’re out of town with Eric and Auntie Lauren.  The men just can’t get enough of the Uncle Herschel.  There’s also the Peg Game.

When we were in Tulsa at the Cracker Barrel this lovely waitress came up to our table–granted she wasn’t OUR waitress but she had a secret.  She started whispering, “Do you wanna know how to do it?”

We all said sure—obviously we wanted to know how to defeat the almighty pegs.  Knock em’ down a peg or two if you will. (Was that my lamest joke?)  So, she starts looking around like she was getting ready to tell us a Cracker Barrel secret recipe or something.  Then she was just standing there kind of talking out the side of her mouth.  She came up with the most ridiculous formula–something along the lines of:

“Ok, you see two and two is four and two and four is six…now take that one and that one. There ya’ go. Now that one and that one. Ok, now look at what you have left two, two and two.  Now take that one and that one and then that one and that one…there ya’ go.  One left…” As she was spouting out this ridiculous formula she was poking the pegs with her nasty long nails.

She still was looking around like a mafia boss was going to come whack her for telling us the secret to the IMPOSSIBLE peg game.  But we got it.  At least we thought we had it…

Look at that–a perfect triangle of pegs!  Now THAT is an accomplishment!

These two could totaly beat the peg game if only they had opposable thumbs. 

By the way, I’m really not one to BRAG but I have to.  I was THE comment of the day on The Bloggess yesterday! I feel partially famous!

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I Remember When Concerts Were Fun…

This is how I know I’m old.  I used to enjoy a good concert–I wouldn’t so much care who was playing–I would just HAVE to go.  Now a days I usually live in a world of regret after I buy concert tickets and dread going to the concert.  When did I become a senior citizen?!  I don’t think it’s the loud noise of the music–I think it’s just the people that surround me at these concerts. 

Last night the hubby and I went to the Coldplay concert in Oklahoma City.  The concert itself was AWESOME–Coldplay always puts on the best show.  Always.  However, I think we sat in the most annoying section ever created in the history of section creation.  (Yeah, I don’t understand that last sentence either.)

Let’s break it down:

We had the “sad guy who was there by himself” guy.  I kind of eavesdropped (yay!) and was listening to him say that whoever he was supposed to go with couldn’t come so he sold his ticket to someone outside.  I’m assuming it was a girl he was supposed to come with the way he was downing beer all night.  He also had the saddest dance moves that could rival Elaine from Seinfeld’s little dance number…

Then there’s the “guy who thought he was at a rave” guy.  This guy bought the lonely guy’s ticket.  It was like destiny that they found each other because they talked and hit it off.  They even exchanged email addresses.  Twenty bucks says this morning they’re both looking at that email address saying, “who the heck is that?!” Anyways, I’m not sure if this guy was on drugs but the way he danced made me think he was on something–or maybe just high on life. This guy also blatently disregarded the “no smoking” ban in there and lit up and lit up and lit up and lit up…That made lonely guy happy and my next person very happy…

There’s the “I’m desperate for male attention even though I have a boyfriend/husband” girl.  This girl was obnoxious and shared cigarettes with the two guys (lonely and rave).  This is a phenomenon I don’t get–and if you do it PLEASE explain it to me.  How can you share cigarettes with people you don’t know?  That just seems like the dirtiest thing ever!  Well, she was dancing with the lonely guy while her boyfriend had his back turned.  Plus, this really annoyed me–she lit a cigarette when she was sitting RIGHT NEXT TO A PREGNANT LADY!  I couldn’t believe it!  The prego lady had to move thanks to her.  Desperate girl had a friend there that was one row in front of her which brings me to my next and last person…

Finally there’s the “I’m married and have children but I’m going to take this night and get plastered and make a complete fool out of myself” girl.  This girl was drunk before the concert had even begun.  While we were waiting for Coldplay to come out this girl climbed over her seat into the row behind her and proceeded to sit on two random guys laps and grind on them.  Then she grabbed her boobs and said, “Yeah, look at these nice A-cups…” Her husband was just laughing and laughing and laughing and yelling at her to get down.  She drunkenly got down and kept dancing and when she was sitting she had her legs kicked in the air. 

It was sort of hard to actually pay attention to the actual concert with everything going on around me!!  I love Coldplay though so I would sit through anything to see them live! 

What has your WORST concert experience been?? 

Yes, I took the above picture this weekend and YES I do still have my Halloween decorations up!  Judge away…

THE END!

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My Husband’s Most Embarrassing Moment…

There isn’t much happening in life right now so I thought I’d take a trip down memory lane for a few minutes.  Let’s go back a few years to when I was in college.  I was walking over to my then boyfriend’s (now husband) apartment.  On my way over I noticed a trap sitting in between the apartment buildings.  Inside that trap was a poor, sad DYING squirrel.  Now these traps were meant for skunks that would stink up the campus.  No way were they intended for poor, innocent squirrels.  Well, me being the animal activist I am ran over to BK’s apartment saying that we “HAD to rescue this squirrel” that “it needed us.”  I can’t remember exactly how we got the squirrel out of the trap but we did. 

(Ok, that’s supposed to be a squirrel in the trap)

We lay him (I use the term him generically we didn’t really see evidence that it was in fact a male squirrel) outside of BK’s apartment and proceeded for probably a good two hours trying to revive this squirrel.  I made BK go get one of his long athletic socks to warm up the squirrel, we had a little bowl of water that we would try to drip in his mouth, and we would randomly poke at him to see if he would move.  Nothing.  He was still breathing but there was no movement.  People would walk by and stare at us like we were lunatics (which thinking back it was a bit nutty-PUN) but we kept on trying. 

Finally, it happened.

His last breath.

I was devastated.  I ran inside his apartment and back to his bed–which at our college was in fact a big no-no.  But I cried and cried like I had lost a family pet or something. 

The next day when I went back over there the squirrel was gone.  I thought maybe a miracle had happened.

Nope.  Turns out he just threw it behind some building. The jerk.

We were talking about this day not too long ago and he said, “You know I had to really love you on that day because I was SO embarrassed that someone was going to see me trying to revive a SQUIRREL.”  I think deep down it wasn’t his love for me, it was his love for the squirrel that prompted him to do that. 

Speaking of dead squirrels–who wants to see a couple of squirrel killers?

Those little sweeties have brought me no less than three squirrels as presents.  And I guess the bird was just too good because that didn’t make it to the house if ya’ know what I mean. THEY ATE IT–that’s what I mean.  yuck…

On that extremely appetizing note–HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!

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Dressing Room Conversation…

Last Friday when I was out trying to find something FABULOUS to wear to my husband’s work Christmas party (which I didn’t take any pictures–what kind of blogger am I?!) I was in a dressing room trying stuff on.  This mother and daughter were trying on clothes in the stalls next to me.  I normally wouldn’t have eavesdropped (ok, that’s a total lie I’m a master eavesdropper) but I couldn’t help but over hear what they were talking about.  Mainly because the daughter was SOOO LOUD.  Let me preface the following conversation saying that the daughter was probably in her late teens and I never did get a look at the mom.

Daughter: OH MY GOSH MOM what IS that?

Mom:  What?

Daughter:  That–sticking out your side…

Mom: What?!

Daughter: OH MY GOSH–is that your RIBS?  Ewww MOM EAT SOMETHING!

Mom: I am eating I think my metabolism is just really high right now

Daughter: Shut up mom–EAT SOMETHING for crying out loud

I think it’s a sad state of affairs when the DAUGHTER has to tell a MOTHER that she’s too skinny!  The city I live in though all the women are like Stepford wives so I’m sure she’s just trying to keep up with her friends. Although I am going to now make it my goal in life that IF I have a daughter I at some point want her to tell me I’m too skinny.  Then I’ll die a happy lady…

Now two ladies who don’t worry about their figures (Although one probably SHOULD):

Sadie sort of looks dead in that picture–she’s NOT I assure you.  She was just sprawled on the couch.

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Ask and You Shall Receive…

A few of you asked me to actually write about my pot holders.  You probably thought I wasn’t crazy enough to actually do that–well you were WRONG!  So here is a picture of my lovely pot holders:

As you can see there’s nothing special about them…except I really love that Williams Sonoma one.  It was a wedding gift.  Because I’m pretty sure it costs five bucks just to browse in Williams Sonoma.  Although I do love everything about that place…but I digress–this post isn’t about that.  It’s about pot holders. Of course there’s stains all over them and if you look closely you’ll see there’s a DOG hair on one of them. 

I really wonder how much dog hair I ingest everyday.  Do you think it’s healthy to eat dog hair?  I guess I haven’t died yet! 

So speaking of dog hair–ok that was a horrible segway and has nothing to do with what I’m about to type-My father is going to have oral surgery on December 3rd (My mom is actually having oral surgery next week!) and I was emailing him to ask him about it.  Here’s what followed:

Me:  When is your surgery on your gums?

Dad: December 3rd

Me: Is it a major surgery?

Dad: It may make me impotent.

And that is actually TAME for him.  Some things he says I can’t even type on here because they make my cheeks burn.

The Stars of The Show:

I love putting bad pictures of the dogs up.  It makes me feel better about myself.  Which here is where you say “Oh they look good in every picture.” Which is going to just destroy all my self-confidence…

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Wet Blanket…

So I may be a little bit psychotic when it comes to the dogs.  I was at WalMart Saturday not only to get donuts but my main purpose was to buy the dogs blankets.  I was under the impression that they were getting cold at night.  I assumed that since their ears and nose were a little chilly that it must mean they’re shivering uncontrollably at night without some sort of covers.  I actually went so far as tucking them in last night…oh my gosh I’m so sad!

Aren’t they just precious all snuggled in their blankets?  By the way don’t ever wash a red fleece blanket with a green fleece blanket.  You’ll end up with multi-colored blankets.  And I didn’t intentionally buy Christmas colors but since every store has abandoned regular merchandise for Christmas merchandise I had no choice.  (I’m pretending to complain but deep down inside I’m thinking YIPEE it’s almost Christmas!)

Please just ignore the random clothing laying around in my living room…

If the gunk in Sadie’s eye is bothering you–don’t worry it’s bothering me ten times more–“You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from the other person’s eye.”  God knew what he was talking about…

All I’m thinking right now is–Oh my gosh I can’t believe I wrote a post about blankets.  This is the saddest excuse for anything ever…

I’ve found out what causes weird dreams for me!  READING!  I think reading right before bed makes my mind open up a new portal that’s almost like taking a drug.  My imagination just runs wild!

AND–I am seeing Twilight opening night–anyone else?? I am going to have to take a pen and notebook because I have a feeling there’s going to be a LOT of blog material that night. 

Ok, I promise that if tomorrow all I have to write about is something about a pot holder I’ll spare you…

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